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Just a brief note today on some idioms that are popular among humans. These vary widely, and sometimes wildly, especially after intoxicating drink has been taken, but I’ll do my best to fill in the details where I can.

Oh, ye of little face.

This phrase is said by humans when they want to boast that they have been successful despite popular opinion. Why the size of a person’s features is the focus of this remark, it is hard to say, but it probably has something to do with the human idea that when people fail in front of their peers, they are said to have ‘lost face’.

I should be soul ucky.

The word ucky is probably a corruption of yucky, and is sometimes replaced by the word icky, but never, for some reason, acky, ecky or ocky. This phrase seems to express a sickening of the spirit or the soul, perhaps due to an unhappy love affair, which, in human circles, is most of them.

Off your own bat.

Bats, being nocturnal animals and neurotic little creatures, make very poor domestic companions, and so this phrase seems to be an obtuse reference to the initiative of the recipient, i.e. anyone who could successfully own a bat, is probably a competent individual. Gloabons find this idiom very hard to fathom because, to our ears, bats are prone to prolonged bouts of hysterical shrieking, but humans are unable to hear this awful noise, and as a result, they have a very skewed perception of these rather tiresome creatures. Many humans are in the habit of ascribing all manner of powers to bats, and some peculiar individuals show enthusiasm for the idea that humans may, in certain circumstances, be able to turn into bats. These people should be avoided at parties, in lifts, after dark, and preferably at all other times.

Reigning cactus dogs.

During wet weather, some humans pay homage to the ruling monarchs of the skies, the cactus dogs. These mythical creatures are believed to roam through the heavens urinating liberally on the clouds, hence the expression, ‘pissing it down’.

No smirk withered far.

This phrase suggests that it’s best not to smile because the situation is suspicious, and so any smirk is likely to wither before long. Humans are much given to suspicion, and their instinctive mistrust of almost everything is perhaps a clue to their survival as a species. True, this trait doesn’t make them especially happy, but thus far, it has kept them alive.

May knee a new tune played on noel’s fiddle.

If…that is…I mean to say…assuming that the word fiddle is…is…

Nope. I got nothing.

This is just one of the things that humans say to fill the silence and prevent embarrassing lulls in a conversation. In fact, if you come across an idiom that you simply don’t recognise, you’ll be fairly safe if you assume that the humans are merely flapping their jaws about just for the sake of it.

As they say on Earth, some people just like to hear the sound of their own vocalisations.

Until next time, peace, fellow Gloabons.




Did I fool you?

As a long-time member of the Earth Liaison Unit, I am, of course, well versed in all human idioms, and so I put the above article together as a little joke.

I do hope that you enjoyed my humorous interpretations.



You may comment below, but any foolishness may well result in you receiving a visit from a member of the Earth Liaison Unit. You have been warned. Thank you.

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